How To Worry A Little Bit Less.
Worry is a common word in todays society, we may know how it feels, we hear others talk about their own, and we certainly hear about it in the media, but do we know what to really do with it!? Popular culture tells us to distract ourselves, meditation, breathing, and coping skills. Which, don't get me wrong, they work, but we need to understand a little more of the process first to put you into the management seat in your brain versus your brain managing you!
How to worry a little bit less, sounds nice right? Let's break down the how!
Tip #1 - Stay out of the weeds!
Staying out of the weeds of worry is a tough one! Often your first reaction to a worry thought is going to be to pay attention to it, listen to it, engage with it. Worry loves to pull us in and get us to think about all the what ifs, mights, maybes, should's, and generally cast doubt. If we choose to stay out of the weeds and react and respond differently, then we step into being the manager of our brain.
Tip #2 - Be The Manager of Your Brain
So instead of hanging out in the weeds with your worry, try this... When a worry thought comes across your brain you want to notice it, be a tad curious about it, and shift your focus. Saying something like "Oh hi worry, nice to see you. Not today thank you. Leave a message." Doing this helps you step out of the weeds (also known as what your worry is saying) and into the manager mindset. The more we listen to worry, negotiate with it, reassure it, or at worst, try and get rid of it, well it only gets worse!
"One of the biggest secrets to worry management is, don't try to get rid of it! The more you push it away, the stronger it comes back! Step in, all the way!
Tip #3 - What To Do If That Worry Really NEEDS You?
Okay, so this is starting to make some sense, right? However, you are probably thinking, well that is great, but what if the worry is really real, how can I just shift and move on?!
Think of worry in this way, spam folder or inbox?
Most of the worries that cross your mind on a daily basis are spam folder content, doesn't need your full attention, planning, problem solving or general fixing. The worries that are inbox priority need some attention, problem solving, and then shifting back to moving on from them and not replaying the strategy over and over. Plans, routines, solutions are all great, but many great plans have been spoiled by constant rumination and the doubt factory of worry.
Tip #4 - Let It Be!
Next time worry hits and you can successfully say it is that spam folder in the weeds worry, then try letting it just be. Don't try to fight it, get rid of it, arm wrestle it, reassure it, just let it be. Letting yourself step into the manager role, "oh hello worry, you again, nice to see you. You always show up when I am doing something new. Silly you. I got this!" When you say this in your mind or out loud, you let your brain know, we got this, I know what this is, I got it handled, no need to sound the alarm bells!
Tip #5 - BREATH!
Lastly, after all of that managing of your brain and being the boss of your worry, breath! Using your breath as the reset or reboot button, just like on your computer, is one of the best ways to move on with your day. Breathing isn't always what fixes your worry or makes you feel better, breathing is the reset after the hard work. Think of it as a breathing in.... 1,2,3,4,5 .... breath out.... 1,2,3,4,5,6,7.... reset.
Now you are on the road of HOW to worry a bit less.
Think of worry management as a "how-to". You don't come with a manual that teaches you how to manage your emotions, you have to seek that out. Just like you would seek out a professional to learn how to drive a car, play the flute, shoot hoops, or anything else.
A few parting words: stay out of the weeds, step into management, inbox priority or spam folder?, let it be, and BREATH! For a more in depth look into your worry contact our office today and let us teach you how.
