Navigating Back to School Anxiety: Tips for Students & Parents on How to Transition from Summer to School Routine
As summer fades and the school year approaches, many students and parents find themselves grappling with back-to-school worries. This transitional period can be stressful, but with the right strategies, it can also be an opportunity for growth and positive change. Here, we’ll explore common worries related to returning to school and provide practical tips to help manage them, ensuring a smoother and skills based transition. We want to instill confidence in our children so they know no matter what comes their way, they’ve got it!
Common Worries Related to Returning to School
Fear of the Unknown: New teachers, new classmates, and new routines can be daunting.
Academic Pressure: Concerns about academic performance and keeping up with coursework.
Social Worry: Concerns about fitting in, making friends, or facing peer pressure.
Separation Worry: Younger children may struggle with being away from parents or caregivers.
Change in Routine: Shifting from the relaxed pace of summer to a structured school schedule.
Practical Strategies to Manage Worry
Teach children to expect worry, it happens, you got this: We often will focus our efforts for back to school worries on eliminating them. Trying to help our children to not worry, it’ll be fine, great, don’t worry about it! However, we can’t promise any of that. We know that worry comes, no matter how hard we may try to eliminate it, it is always a present force in life. Worry has to happen, it is what makes us know what is important to pay attention to, how to get things done, to watch for danger. Back to school time, well worry goes into over drive, this is not the type of worry that feels helpful. Teaching your children to know that they may feel worried about back to school and that this is normal is the trick. My challenge to you is to not promise anything will be fine, I want you to teach them that they will worry, it happens, we can hang out with worry, and we can tell worry, I got this, I will figure it out as I go.
Play a game called “The Things I Know, The Things I Don’t Know”: When we are going to do something new it is very normal for our brains to be curious about what it might be like and to look at it from every angle. I want you to take out a piece of paper and a pencil, draw a line down the middle, one side is the things I know the other side is the things I don’t know (Make sure your child writes it if they can, we know writing things out helps the brain process more fully versus typing). Now have a conversation with your child about the two sides for this upcoming school year, help them out if they need it, you can break it down as small as you want (such as not knowing chair color, smell of the class room, etc) or keep it more broad, whatever works for the child. Then chat about how they will figure out the things they don’t know — they are going to go to school and see. No amount of worrying about it now and dreaming about it will help them figure those things out. So when their brain wants to worry and worry and worry, help them come up with a phrase that can help them pivot away. Such as something like “hey worry, there you are again, I got this, I will figure this out when I go to my first day” or “hey brain, not now, I will see when I get there.” Notice we are not saying things like “go away”, “it will be fine”, “nothing to worry about”, because THEY ARE WORRIED and that is OKAY! Normalize and empower that they can be okay with being uncomfortable, they got this!
Create a flexible routine not a rigid schedule: Schedules, structure, knowing when things will happen all can be helpful at times. However, when kids are worrying a lot about something new giving too many details will be more harmful than helpful. So focusing this upcoming school year on a general routine and instilling flexibility will help kids know how to navigate their day and also flow well when things come up and force a pivot in the days plans. Planning on common strategies such as adjusting bedtime a week or two before school starts are always great ideas as well.
Open Communication: Creating a space that your child knows they can come to any time to talk about their successes and their challenges is key to some great school years ahead. Ensuring children know that even in moments of their greatest mistakes, they can confidently come to you and know that you might not be happy about it, but you will support them in problem solving. School can be tough and things can happen that may put them in some tough spots and we want them to know they can tell you about it, no matter how embarrassing, frustrating, scary, or challenging.
Setting Expectations: Help your child set realistic expectations for their school year. I often see teenagers in my practice come in and chat about these lofty goals and expectations they have for themselves and I often work with them on breaking it down into parts that will be more successful. Discuss what they can expect in terms of workload, social interactions, and extracurricular activities. Setting achievable goals can provide a sense of purpose and motivation, reducing feelings of overwhelm.
Making a Sturdy Plan for a Strong Transition
Plan Ahead: Organize school supplies, pick out first-day outfits, and visit the school beforehand if possible. Familiarity can ease worry.
Gradual Transition: Ease into the school routine gradually rather than abruptly. Start incorporating school-like activities, such as reading or structured play, into the daily schedule.
Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small successes and progress. Positive reinforcement can boost confidence and reduce worry.
Involve Them in Decisions: Allow your child to have a say in certain decisions, such as choosing their backpack or planning after-school activities. This involvement can empower them and foster autonomy.
Transitioning from summer to the school routine doesn’t have to be a source of stress. By understanding common worries and implementing practical strategies, you can support your child in navigating this period with confidence and ease. Remember, open communication, teaching them how to worry, and setting realistic expectations are key to a successful and strong transition back to school. Here’s to a great school year ahead!
