The Mental Health of Parenting: Navigating the Challenges with Care
Over the past year and a half, as I’ve become a parent to two beautiful girls, the mental health side of parenting has been on my mind more than ever. As a therapist, much of my career has centered around working with families, but my personal experiences as a parent have deepened my understanding of the daily mental and emotional challenges of raising children.
When I first started in this field, I worked with adults, hearing about their concerns and struggles with parenting. At the time, I didn’t have kids of my own. Then I began specializing in treating eating disorders, which naturally led to more family work. Treating these disorders often involves the whole family, and through that, I learned even more about the highs and lows of parenting.
In 2018, I became a parent for the first time, and my journey took on new meaning. Later, when I moved into private practice, I started working with couples, and I began to hear even more about the shared struggles of parenting—concerns that spanned all ages and stages. These experiences have shaped my approach to therapy and, ultimately, led me to open Middle Path Counseling, where I further specialized in children, teens, and parent mental health. Welcoming my second child in 2023 only deepened my passion for helping families navigate the complexities of raising children.
The Importance of Parent Mental Health
Parenting is a constant balancing act, and it’s easy to overlook our own mental health in the process. But here’s the thing: our mental health directly impacts our children’s well-being. We are their guides, their role models, and how we manage our stress and emotions teaches them how to navigate their own lives. It’s crucial that we take time to care for ourselves so we can care for them.
One of the biggest challenges today is the pressure from social media. In the mental health field, we call this "social contagion"—the way we absorb ideas and pressures from constantly comparing ourselves to others online. It leads to thoughts like, I should be doing more, I should be better, I’m not enough as a parent. This cycle of comparison can drive us toward exhaustion, shame, and feeling overwhelmed by never-ending schedules and social standards.
Many of us feel that constant tug between loving our children and longing for the freedom of our pre-parenting days. And that’s okay—it’s normal to feel both. But it’s important to find balance, and that starts with taking intentional steps to care for your mental health. So, what can we do?
5 Ways to Support Your Mental Health as a Parent
Build a Community
Find your people—other parents who understand the unique challenges of raising kids. Meet up in person, whether it’s at the playground, on a walk, or over coffee. Enroll your kids in the same activities so you have time to chat and connect while they play. Having a support system you can lean on makes all the difference, and it’s a great way to step away from screens and be present with each other.Ask for Help (It’s a Strength, Not a Weakness)
Many of us hesitate to ask for help because we don’t want to burden others. But parenting is not meant to be done alone. Asking for help—whether it’s a hand with childcare, or just a friend to talk to—is a sign of strength. Community is how we raise children, and sharing our struggles helps lighten the load. There’s nothing more comforting than hearing a fellow parent say, “We’re going through the same thing!”Embrace the Mess
Life with kids is messy—literally and figuratively. While some social media posts show more “real life” moments, there’s still a tendency to curate the perfect image. Let go of the need for perfection. The house doesn’t have to be spotless, dinner doesn’t need to look Instagram-worthy, and your child doesn’t need to be dressed like a mini fashion model. Embracing the chaos of life with kids can bring a sense of peace and joy.Spend Time in the Present
When was the last time you spent uninterrupted time with your children without checking your phone? If you can’t remember, it’s time to try this: pick an activity with your kids and leave your phone in a different room on silent. Not in your pocket, not facedown on the table, but completely out of reach. Research shows that even having the phone in the same room can create mental distractions. So go back to a pre-smartphone era and be fully present. Your mind—and your kids—will thank you.Make Time for Your Mind
Whether it’s a moment for yourself, a therapy session, a run, or simply a quiet cup of coffee, find ways to nurture your mind. It doesn’t have to be hours of relaxation; think in moments. A few minutes of calm can go a long way. When we shift our mindset from needing large blocks of time to finding small moments throughout the day, it becomes much easier to prioritize our mental health.
Parenting will never be free of stress or worry. There will always be busy schedules and a seemingly endless list of responsibilities. But by taking care of your mental health, you can approach it with more joy, peace, and resilience. Remember, even in the busyness, it’s okay to take a breath, take a break, and take care of yourself.
Until next time, take a moment for yourself—and then get back out there. You’ve got this!
—J