Why Small Adjustments Over Big Leaps Matter in Your Pursuit for Improved Mental Health.
All to often when we start to identify something in our life that needs change we go for the big leap, a quick fix. We live in a culture that is consumed by finding the solution in the quickest way possible, not so interested in the longer term fix. Mental health falls into this category as well. In the mental health industry there have been hundreds of methods that have come (and some gone) over the years that promise feeling better quickly. Emotion regulation strategies that have the best long term benefits are the type that focus on teaching skills and how to make small adjustments over time. Ever used a record player? Then you are already on the road to knowing what we mean!
When you begin to learn the skills required for regulation of your emotions you may quickly realize that it is not all that easy. Emotions are big, small, hidden, right in your face, easy, hard, and the list goes on. We cannot expect ourselves to learn a set of skills and then be a master of them within weeks. When we learn these skills and then focus on small adjustments we start to gain momentum. Each time we have a swing and a miss with using a skill we learn and make an adjustment the next time, or when we have a success with using a skill we learn and make an adjustment the next time to do that again. Each time we use the skills on various emotions and situations the skill becomes clearer, stronger, and more effective.
So let’s go back to the record player…If you have ever used a record player, then you know that there are a set of skills needed to tune your music that is being played. Move the dial too far one way and your music sounds all slow and distorted, move the dial the other way and your music is all high pitched and fast. Your mental health and emotion regulation is similar, it takes time, adjustments, learning, trial and error to get the right regulation.
How to make small adjustments:Begin by learning the skills of emotion regulation. You can do this by attending therapy, reading books, or podcasts. Try seeking out a provider or content that has a skills based approach. Looking for terms such as Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to name a few.
Once you have some skills learned and you start to try them out remember the beginning phases are all about giving yourself time to learn, experiment, fail, adjust, learn, experiment, succeed, adjust, and so on.
When you first try out a skill during an emotional event that your want to manage/regulate expect that you may very well fail at it or only get some relief, this stuff is hard! Try to approach these moments with a nonjudgemental stance of yourself and go back to that idea of small adjustments. You will quickly find that when you take this approach you stay in a growth mindset and are stronger at bouncing back and trying it again.
Never underestimate the power of the ‘post game analysis’. Even if you miss an opportunity to use a skill during a time where you wish you had, you can always look back and learn and adjust by thinking about how you could have used a skill and remember for next time. You can even use this method after trying a skill and the outcome not being exactly what you had hoped for. Learn, adjust, try again.
Lastly, be gentle with yourself. Having skills for emotional management is a wonderful goal to strive for and it is challenging along the way. Mental health is not something to think of as one end goal, it is many small goals along the way. Each chapter of life gives us new things to work on. Same core skills, small adjustments over time.
We leave you with this..... Small adjustments over time will give you greater outcomes in your pursuit for improved mental health. Leave the big leaps to activities better suited for those skills! 